I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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