would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
