I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
