His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize