Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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