Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
This baby is an asshole
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
