yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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