Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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