My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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