I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
