that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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