i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize
