Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize