the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
