I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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