I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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