that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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