My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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