You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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