Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
