How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
