I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
