look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
