guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
