I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
