i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
