Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
