just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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