I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i think i have herpe
just one?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I think a kid would responsible me up
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
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