you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
