3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
