it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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