If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
