i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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