Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
