btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
