"it" just moved
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
