I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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