you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Drake has all the answers
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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