new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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