I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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