So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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