You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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