and she was petting her beer can
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
