end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
