the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
