i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
