Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
So squirting runs in the family.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
