so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
