How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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