I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
