Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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