Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Buhtt sex?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
