that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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