Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
