Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Just high enough for therapy.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
