i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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