just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
