her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
