I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
